With apologies to Edgar Allan Poe
Once upon an evening dreary, I took a tumble, weak and weary,
Over huge amounts of books that I had purchased from the store.
On a shelf, I’d been restocking a bio of Stephen Hawking,
Then I fell, it was most shocking, loudly crashing to the floor.
“I’ve so many books,” I said, “that cleaning is a chore.
I cannot live like this much more.”
One could tell with just a look I was an avid fan of books.
They really had me in their hooks; I was always getting more.
And I knew upon the morrow my intention was to borrow
A book on Kilimanjaro from the library next door.
Although I had so many, I still always wanted more!
My shelves were full, so was my floor.
Now the massively gargantuan size of my valued collection
Chilled me – filled me with a feeling I had never felt before.
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I kept repeating
“I’ve so many books, stacked so high upon my condo floor!
They’re taking up so much space; I can barely see the door.”
I had a lot to answer for.
I lay there ‘til I grew stronger, my head resting a bit longer
On a book I’d yet to conquer (it was Game of Thrones book 4).
And just then I heard a knocking. I was only slowly walking,
Feeling like I was sleep talking, squawking through my condo door,
“One moment please, I’m coming!” – Then, when I opened the door,
It was the nice girl from D-4.
I guess she had been overhearing; I stood there, perhaps appearing
Nervous or maybe endearing? We’d never spoken before.
She asked, “What was that commotion? From such noise I had the notion
That you might have set in motion a small accident, or more?”
Then she entered and, astonished, stammered “You’ve got books galore!
Do you mind if I explore?”
And soon she was discerning the books in my condo churning.
Its appearance was concerning; it looked more like a bookstore.
She said “Please don’t find me critical, but this mess isn’t livable.
Have you tried going digital? There’s an app to explore…
Let me find it on my Android phone; it’s free from the Play Store!
It’s an app—and something more.”
With a deft and dexterous tap, downloading Kobo’s reading app,
She put her phone within my grasp, but I wasn’t sure what for.
“Welcome to my reading haven, neighbour and Book-Loving Maven,
And please do not think me craven, but what, for me, have you in store?
Tell me what this app can do. Will it clean books off my floor?”
Quoth the Maven: “You’ll read more.”
I said I liked print books mainly, and thought eReading ungainly.
(Although books take up space, plainly, which I really do abhor.)
But then my eyes were seeing a five-dollar credit* being
Offered for simply agreeing to try one from Kobo’s store,
From any genre I wanted, priced at $5.01 or more.
Less than I’d have paid before!
Then the Maven, smiling gladly, on the Android phone tapped madly
On the screen, as if she couldn’t tell what I was waiting for.
“Look at this, it’s quite nifty! They’ve got eBooks for the thrifty,
Daily Deals, the Top 50, and eMagazines** galore.
Read risk-free for 14 days, then you can subscribe for more.
So get in on the ground floor!”
“Come on now, you must be joking,” I said as I began poking,
Dazzled by 4 million titles – actually, even more.
I thought back to last September: not yet a Super Points Member,
I could have earned some, had I signed up then, for Game of Thrones book 4.
If I’d only known back then about the Super Points Rewards!
VIPs earn even more.
To read the rest of "The Maven", tap here: http://news.kobo.com/blog/the-maven
*Offer valid only in the United States, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Singapore. Visit https://www.kobo.com/5credit for complete details.
** Magazines available in US, Canada, UK, Italy and France.
Uploaded: Aug 22, 2016 at 3:19 CDT
Uploaded: Jan 8, 2016 at 23:59 CST
Uploaded: Sep 19, 2016 at 3:43 CDT